Recommendations on Orgasm Gap
- Communication is key: Open discussions about sexual desires and needs are crucial for both partners.
- Focus on foreplay: Sufficient clitoral stimulation is often more important for female orgasm than intercourse.
- Explore different positions: Experimentation can help couples discover what works best for both partners.
- Address performance anxiety: Stress and anxiety can hinder arousal and orgasm for both genders.
- Consider medical factors: Hormonal imbalances, medications, and physical conditions can impact sexual response.
- Seek professional help: A therapist specialized in sexual health can offer guidance and solutions.
- Mindfulness and body awareness: Understanding and appreciating one’s own body can improve sexual experiences.
References:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5377279/
https://www.healthline.com/health/womens-health/orgasm-gap
Source: 123 rf iol
It’s a matter of head and culture, again. The gender gap also exists on the pleasure plane, and it has a name: orgasm gap or orgasm inequality. It means that men and women do not enjoy in the same way, and–take a wild guess–heterosexual women are the ones who reach orgasm the least, all things being equal. The research and studies that prove this are now numerous: the most satisfied are the heterosexual men (95% of reports), followed by the homosexual men (89%) and bisexuals (88 percent). Also the homosexual women achieve high pleasure rates (86 percent), while the figure for female heterosexual or bisexual women (65% and 66%). A gap that reaches 30% if we talk about a heterosexual couple: almost one in three times he reaches orgasm and she does not. But what are the causes? Evidently they are not exclusively physiological.
Emotional involvement
The study published in the American Sociological Review involving 15 thousand U.S. male and female students says that emotional involvement is one of the causes of this gap. According to the results, only 21% of young women achieve orgasm even without any particular emotional involvement. In contrast, 74% achieve orgasm with a steady partner. A condition that men seem to give less weight to, since the rate of achieving extreme pleasure does not vary too much in casual relationships.
Insecurity and body shaming
Another fact that seems to be determinant in letting go of pleasure is the shame Of one’s own body. Much more than men, women are victims of body shaming (from shame). The results of research conducted by Lookiero in France, the United Kingdom, Luxembourg, Portugal, Belgium, Italy, and Spain confirms that one in two women dislike their bodies. As many as 88% of the women surveyed would change something about their bodies; 61% of them gave up an activity because they did not feel confident about their bodies (and who knows if this activity includes sexual or emotional). 63% of women recognize that they are too self-criticism; and the shame for 60 percent goes so far as to prefer online shopping to dressing room fittings. Shame of one’s body, especially for women, stems from two bad habits that are still too deeply ingrained: relying on models that are extremely stereotyped and the great ability, of men toward women but also among women, to belittle a female body. Insulting or sexually derogatory comments are still more; more subtle and painful is the tendency to shame a woman about her physique. And how could an insecure and ashamed woman feel free, uninhibited, and ready to experience pleasure naked in bed, perhaps with a newly met partner?
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The clitoris, the unknown one
Too little is still known about the female body, and this lack of awareness also plays havoc with her pleasure. According to one study (Volck et al, 2013), 44% of boys and 29% of young women do not know how to identify the clitoris. From a 2019 British YouGov study, 58 percent of respondents could not describe the function of the urethra, 47 percent did not know what the labia are, and 52 percent did not know what the vagina is. Most boys and girls think that the clitoris is the outer button, and they do not know about the real depth and size of this organ. The clitoris itself has become the protagonist of several feminist art forms, which have created installations, paintings and sculptures around half the world. It happened in Paris some time ago, when an inflatable clitoris more than 5 meters high appeared for March 8 at the Trocadero in front of the Eiffel Tower. “We publicly denounce the delay in sexual medicine research on the clitoris. There is clearly a disparity in treatment with the penis. A quarter of girls don’t know they have a clitoris and 82 percent don’t even know it is an erectile and erogenous organ,” said Julia Petri, the founder of the group La Gang du Clito, which wanted the installation. Awareness of one’s body and one’s pleasure is crucial to the achievement of pleasure, for this a good level of sexuality education can be important in bridging the orgasm gap.
Selfishness in bed
If the male, whatever his sexual orientation, experiences pleasure in high percentages, it is because he is undoubtedly attentive to his own pleasure. That selfishness under the sheets is not a female habit is proved by the fact that lesbian women experience pleasure all right. Indeed, selfishness in bed is a trait that for generations has distinguished the male gender; yet, slowly, it seems that something is changing (at least in words). Already in 2018, according to research conducted among 1,000 men between the ages of 35 and 70 by IBSA Pharmaceuticals on the new male sexual identity, the 62% of males stated as woman’s satisfaction as a priority and attention to her needs. Eighty-three percent in each case prefer a woman who is resourceful and assertive; 77 percent say that cuddling does not diminish manhood. We only hope that this awareness and willingness will be put into action under the sheets as well.
Masturbation
Self-eroticism is a practice that is good for you, in fact very good. Both for the state of well-being that one achieves (the hormones produced are the same as those produced during sexual intercourse), both because with masturbation one acquires safety about their own bodies and their own pleasure. Women, however, do so less than men. A survey commissioned in 2021 by The Poken Company, an adult entertainment company and in collaboration with the European Observatory for Women’s Sexuality, surveyed 5025 women from France, Italy, Spain, Germany, and the United Kingdom. Women in Italy indulge in intimate moments less than in other countries, but the percentage is increasing: in 2017, 67% of women said they masturbate; in 2021 74% (an increase perhaps also due to the various lockdowns). The data vary by age and the new generations seem more uninhibited in discovery and experimentation A comparison with men? Ninety-five percent of them report engaging in autoeroticism on a regular basis.
Communication & comparison
All these reasons, from insecurity to lack of awareness, leave big holes of communication On pleasure and taste in sex. Men are more confident and more easily they drive the woman. They, still a bit too indecisive, with great reticence clearly say what they like and what bothers them; with little decision they ask or demand. At least in straight relationships, because in same-sex couples even confrontation seems easier and looser. One piece of advice? Never leave one’s pleasure to the freedom Of the partner; never delegate. Pleasure is a right, as is respect for one’s choices and preferences. We try to be the first to point this out.
