Female orgasm can be promoted by:
1. Clitoral stimulation: The clitoris is highly sensitive and often key to orgasm.
2. Extended foreplay: Building arousal gradually enhances orgasmic potential.
3. Communication: Openly discussing preferences and desires with partners.
4. Relaxation: Reducing stress and anxiety improves orgasmic response.
5. Pelvic floor exercises: Strengthening these muscles can intensify orgasms.
6. Exploring erogenous zones: Stimulating various sensitive areas beyond genitals.
7. Experimentation with positions: Finding angles that provide optimal stimulation.
8. Mindfulness: Focusing on physical sensations and staying present.
9. Self-exploration: Understanding one’s body through masturbation.
10. Lubrication: Ensuring adequate wetness for comfort and sensitivity.
11. Breathing techniques: Deep, rhythmic breathing can enhance arousal and orgasm.
12. Sex toys: Incorporating vibrators or other devices for added stimulation.
13. Emotional connection: Feeling safe and intimate with a partner can heighten pleasure.
14. Avoiding rushed encounters: Taking time to fully engage in sexual activity.
15. Hormonal balance: Addressing any underlying hormonal issues that may affect libido.
Female orgasm is fascinating, difficult at times, extensive and total or all-encompassing. There are many types, and it can be facilitated by knowing one’s body, with some specific positions, and by best preparing a welcoming environment. We asked Azzurra Carrozzo, a psychotherapist sexologist, to give us some advice.
The ideal conditions for achieving orgasm
Achieving orgasm requires a delicate balance of eros, complicity, gentleness, and disinhibition. But what are the ideal conditions to be able to achieve it?
“I often hear that one of the main conditions for achieving orgasm is good complicity with the partner. Personally,” comments the sexologist, “I find that this is one of the conditions because in reality the orgasmic capacity is more individual than as a couple. In fact, the inability to achieve orgasm almost never depends on the skill and adequacy of the partner in stimulating us. In most cases, it depends on how well we know how to stimulate ourselves and let ourselves go to stimulation. That is why I feel I can say that the ideal conditions are given by our predisposition, our letting go, but above all by the awareness that we have of our body, of how our pleasure works and how to go about seeking it.”
#iol_player_container.vjs-top-parent-mobile z-index: 1000; top: auto; bottom: 0;
Knowledge and awareness are thus the key words, accompanied by a good ability to let go and surrender.
Psychological limits
It is not easy for all to lose control, and the head comes into play, with thoughts, too many and invasive: “psychological limits are related more to how we live with it on a bodily level and within the couple,” continues the sexologist, author of the book Pleasure Us. Everything you never had the courage to ask about female ejaculation.
“If we feel unbeautiful, inadequate, not very sensual or if we are ashamed of what we are doing (for example, masturbating in front of our partner) it will be difficult to achieve orgasm. At that point it is as if we come captured by our thoughts. Then it happens that while we are having sex or masturbating, we start to looking at ourselves from the outside, as if we are spying on ourselves, pointing the finger of humiliation at us, which makes us go into shame and feel guilty and dirty about what we are doing. All of this leads us to judge ourselves negatively“.
“Another psychological limitation might be given, in a more relational dimension, by the thought that if we do not reach orgasm the other person might be hurt by it and feel inadequate. Then the orgasm becomes the means by which we communicate the value of the partner. Seeing the orgasm as performance we shift our attention away from pleasure and sexual intercourse. Judgmentally and demeaningly viewing the scene from the outside or seeing it as performance causes us to lose the focus of the moment, which should always and only be the pleasure of the body” continues the expert.
It also applies to men
One aspect not only female the psychological one: “it applies equally to both women and men,” Azzurra Carrozzo continues, “Men, for example, may think that reach orgasm with much delay or never is pleasurable for a woman, because it means to be very performant and high-performing. In reality, male anorgasmia or delayed ejaculation is a condition that brings much suffering, even and especially to the woman. This is because, in our delusion of omnipotence, we think that the other person’s orgasm comes from our own prowess and having a partner who doesn’t achieve it puts a huge dent in her self-esteem.”
Physical limits to orgasm attainment
“There are several medical conditions that inhibit orgasm. Without getting into the clinical, at the muscular level, thepelvic floor hypotone could be a reason for inability to experience orgasm. To be able to achieve orgasm, both men and women need a good ability to contract of the pelvic floor muscles,” the expert explains.
“Positions that can facilitate a woman’s enjoyment are those in which can have her legs bent, like that of the Amazon in which she is on top. Or if the woman is on her stomach below, her legs can be spread apart and brought up, not lying on the mattress, and her pelvis somewhat elevated by a pillow. These positions make it easier to reach orgasm because they keep the pelvic floor muscles tense and legs. Some women need to tense their toes: orgasm in the end is a contraction of so many muscle districts in our body.”
Pelvic floor exercises
As with all muscles, there are exercises that are used to improve the tone Of the pelvic floor. They are known as Kegel exercises, of contraction and relaxation. It is necessary that it be a pelvic health professional to point them out to us, without improvising, because in case of hypertone that we are not aware of, they could even make the situation worse. The exercises should be customized according to the starting condition and following a thorough evaluation. They are for him and her, useful for improving muscle tone and enhance the sensation of pleasure.
“If we learn about these muscles, how to contract and relax them, we could experience much more pleasure” adds the sexologist.
Playing on the atmosphere : scents and music
“I always recommend create the right atmosphere: If sexual intercourse was simply penetration, it would be very boring indeed, both as a couple and individually.” Creating the atmosphere is then the first important foreplay: “can be given by so many things: what we wear, what we tell each other beforehand, how long beforehand we tell each other, how we organize the room. I often have people play games of sensory focus. One of us gives the other a gift and arranges the room so that it is comfortable, going to stimulate all the senses. The only one I allow to be excluded is sight, because covered by a blindfold one is much more perceptive and sensitive to the other senses, including touch. Going to touch the other body with any part of our body or external objects finely stimulates the sense of touch. I always recommend playing with thesense of smell (with candles and incense) or thehearing (with music) to eroticize the environment.”
Erotizing the environment also has an important effect on orgasmic capacity, if only because it acts as preparation. “Arranging the environment to make us feel welcomed, erotic, passionate, sensual can well dispose us to orgasmic achievement and the enhancement of sexual pleasure” comments Dr. Carrozzo.
At the table: aphrodisiac foods or drinks.
“That of eroticism at the table is a controversial topic: foods and drinks work in an aphrodisiac way up to a certain point, then our brains come into action,” explains the sexologist.
There are, however, foods that naturally promote vasodilation, such as chili peppers, strawberries or chocolate. “But the fact that they increase vasodilation or the presence of certain substances, such as serotonin, a good mood neurotransmitter, or dopamine, is not a true stimulant. Much of the aphrodisiac effect given by food is placebo. Often just putting a plate of clams or mussels on the table, reminiscent to the eye of the female external genitalia, or other foods recognized as aphrodisiacs fuel our fantasy. Foods then can feed expectations and desire, having a good effect on the libido“.
E spirits how much they help and how risky are they? “Wine also is a vasodilator. In fact, like all alcohol, acts by disinhibiting. By feeling looser we may be led to do things that in situations of maximum control we would never do. It is important to remember, however, that alcohol in excessive amounts has a disinhibiting effect on a psychological level, but on a physical level it suppresses sexual activity and makes decrease erection and lubrication“.
