- Erotolalia is a rare condition where individuals experience an increase in
Source: iStock
Intimate swearing: when and why do they like it?
Erotolalia consists of theGetting excited by hearing swear words directed at oneself or others. For those who enjoy this kind of practice, arousal increases the heavier and more emphatically said the swearing. If both partners become aroused in this way and swear words are exchanged during their encounters, there is no problem or criticism; on the contrary, if this practice becomes bothersome for either of them, morbid, or the only way to get aroused, psychological counseling may be advisable.
Why do we get aroused by swearing? What science says
Swearing in the sexual sphere is mostly appreciated by those who work a lot or is particularly stressed, finding in this practice a liberating erotic game. When working hard and under heavy stress loads, the body produces a hormone called cortisol (the stress hormone), which tends to lower sexual desire.
Hearing profanity, on the other hand, can Ignite fantasies and excitement, causing the Central Nervous System to release sex hormones that have an inverse effect to the stress hormone. Obviously, when stress due to work or any past traumas are extensive, this becomes a pathology that is right to address with psychologists who will know how to find the causes of this desire. If, on the contrary, it is simply a way to experience sexuality with your partner and get aroused together even through the use of swear words, there is no reason either to intervene with therapy or to feel uncomfortable: simply create your normalcy as a couple, experiment and have fun.
Dirty talk: what’s different from erotolalia
Between dirty talk, literally “dirty talk,” and erotolalia there is no substantial difference: at the base there is sexual arousal with sexually thorny and obscene words and phrases. The dirty talking can occur in sexting, for example, through the exchange of explicit messages or during the sexual act or foreplay, with the use of strong words or explicit erotically charged phrases; erotolalia consists of one or more phrases with sexual obscenities used to increase pleasure during sexual intercourse.
Dirty words, forbidden desires, erotic fantasies: dirty talking are words, phrases, and statements that are thrust at the other person or the other person directs at you during sex. It is essential to ask for consent first, to know how far we can go with swearing and name-calling, or to ask, if we like, for the other person to do so, in an erotic and non-embarrassing way. In addition to hearing the swear word itself, it is important to put it in an appropriate context (such as, for example, oral sex) and said with a sensual tone of voice and pushed. Saying or hearing obscenities for someone can be very arousing, so it is always good to listen and hear each other, to find the right balance and enjoy the sexual experience.
Dirty talk: tips for trying
There are phrases and words that increase heartbeat and arousal, which are full of passion and desire. Obviously, each couple must experiment with their own way of “dirty” talk to discover the limits and boundaries within which to stay for experience excitement without embarrassment or irritation in the other person. So here are some tips to start playing and experimenting with words:
- Confidence: This aspect is very subjective. You may feel comfortable swearing during the first time, but it tends to be something that develops over time through confidence and intimacy. This tends to happen because being a somewhat borderline and not very common sexual practice could create embarrassment in one or the other. In any case, if you have a desire to try swearing at the other person during intercourse or oral sex, it is always best to ask, at least the first time.
- Green light to fantasies: Sharing certain thoughts with your partner is synonymous with great confidence, but also with the desire to surprise each other and yourself with intimate phrases and desires. Let yourself go: if you want to explore the world of swearing and pushing thoughts during sex, let out your more animalistic side and don’t think about taboos imposed by society or yourself.
- Have you tried sexting?: this erotic practice is a way to start getting acquainted with spicy words and phrases. Start by sharing with your partner sexual fantasies, some desires and write them down in messages: this way you can find out if explicit phrases can turn you on, so then you can try it in reality too.
Transgression in sexuality: what does it mean?
There are various ways of approaching sexuality, which may also change over the years: one may want to try different things or try unusual games during sexual intercourse. New practices or positions are a way to play and not let the relationship, especially after several years, fall flat in a very normal routine: precisely why you may decide to give your sexuality a whirl with your partner.
Having a desire for Transgressing in sex is normal, pleasurable and fun, but what is meant by transgression in bed? It means doing unusual things that go beyond the missionary position or classic moaning, going to the discovery of a more “driven” sexuality free from mental and social cages. Obviously this does not mean distorting oneself or striving to be something we are not, but just trying to be more free and imaginative, if that is what inspires us. Dirty talk is part of this transgression. Everyone has a subjective limit and each couple experiments with their own to experience pleasure in different and more “hot” ways: the important thing is to make decisions together, share them and respect each other.
Sources
Tell Me What You Want – Psycology Today
