Crying after sex (Postcoital Dysphoria):
- It’s a common, yet often unspoken experience.
- Can be triggered by hormonal shifts, emotional vulnerability, or relationship issues.
- May be a sign of underlying depression or anxiety.
- Open communication with partner is crucial for understanding and support.
- Seeking professional help if it’s recurring and distressing is advised.
- https://www.healthline.com/health/postcoital-dysphoria
- https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/postcoital-dysphoria
Source: 123 rf iol
Crying after sex is normal, just like that. Sex triggers strong, pleasurable, and highly satisfying emotions and feelings, yet sometimes it makes people cry. Or laugh, depending. These are much more common reactions than you might think and should not be too worrisome. But why does it happen? And what can it mean?
All “fault” of hormones
During sexual intercourse or masturbation and with the achievement of orgasm, the body is literally invested at the biochemical level and overwhelmed by the production of hormones that play a decisive role on our feeling and behavior in the immediate aftermath. Among these hormones are the Dopamine, one of the hormones of happiness, responsible for the feeling of gratification and fulfillment; the Endorphins, a natural painkiller, with antidepressant and mood-stimulating effects; the Testosterone, which is the arousal hormone that ignites desire in men and women. Then there is theOxytocin which is par excellence the hormone of love, cuddles, hugs, physical contact and empathy. It decreases stress and increases sensitivity to emotions. It is precisely Oxytocin that makes us hypersensitive, and can trigger laughter or crying after sex. Endorphin crash also appears to be a possible cause of sadness: these hormones peak during orgasm, but drop radically soon after.
The emotional outburst
During sex one is totally naked, out in the open, vulnerable. Orgasm and pleasure project to a state so intense and deep, on a physical and emotional level, that it can lead to tears or laughter. It is as if in a moment of purity, emptiness or total openness, we allow ourselves the opportunity to express ourselves freely and unfiltered. Whether it is tears or laughter matters little then, because it is a matter of venting very strong emotions, which at that particular moment take that precise form. Then again, let us remember well, tears are not always of sadness. They can be tears of joy, of happiness, that follow a union and intimacy perhaps unexpected, perhaps long overdue. Or simply they are tears born of extremely intense pleasure and feeling.
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There is weeping and crying
Tears of emotional outburst and explosion are not necessarily tears of disappointment and sorrow, but also tears of happiness or strong feelings to let out. They last only a few minutes, just long enough to come to one’s senses. In such cases it is important to enjoy the intimate moment you are indulging in, to be shared with your partner without any shame, indeed. But what if the tears won’t stop falling and the feeling is just of malaise and sadness? It is a matter of Sex blues or post-coital dysphoria and consists of a feeling of depression that overtakes after consensual sexual intercourse or masturbation, even if fulfilling. Postcoital dysphoria may manifest as irritability, melancholy, a desire to cry or unexplained depression and may last a few hours for prolonged periods.
Sex blues: who suffers from it
Sadness and this negative emotional state that occurs after making love can affect both men and women. The percentages are not low: we are talking about the 40% of men and of the 46% of women who have experienced it at least once in their lives. Those who suffer from it (or have suffered from it) describe the completed sexual intercourse as pleasurable and satisfying, so the discomfort is not related to the pleasure or quality of performance.
Why does it happen
The causes of this depressive form then are unrelated to the sexual act, but rather are of the nature psychological and physiological. Undoubtedly, cases of Sex blues occur during periods of high emotional stress, both within the couple and in one’s outside, individual life. Anxieties and worries find fertile ground in the moment immediately following orgasm, precisely because of that sensitivity due to hormones and the nakedness of the moment. It also appears that there may be a link between postcoital dysphoria and fear of losing a loved one, which is more common in people who have had a insecure attachment or anaffective attachment with parents or grandparents. In this case, detachment at the conclusion of sexual intercourse would be more difficult and would trigger fear and sadness.
What to do
Meanwhile, whether the crying is instinctive or the sadness is more complex, there should be no shame. Sharing emotions, venting and reactions with your partner is a sign of trust and intimacy. Reassure him/her that the tears are not of disappointment, that the sadness is not dependent on the relationship with him/her. It may indeed be a passing reaction and feeling, which naturally disappears as the worry or crisis passes. If the feeling of discomfort struggles to pass and is prolonged over time, a course of psychological accompaniment, to understand the message that our bodies and minds are sending us.
